News

About a week and half ago, I mentioned that I had not been posting as often because I had not been feeling well. I have been sick since September 2009 due to an unknown cause. It became so bad I had to take a medical leave from school. Last week, after seeing more doctors and having more tests done than I can remember, I was diagnosed with hairy cell leukemia. The first thing I will say is that my chances are very good. People rarely die from this form of cancer. After being sick for so long without a diagnosis, I'm actually happy for this knowledge. However, I will have to undergo some chemotherapy. When I started this blog a couple months ago, I was hoping to post at least 4 times a week. Unfortunately, that will not be possible for awhile.

I absolutely love writing this blog. For the first time, I feel like I am meeting and interacting with people whose have similar views on religion and God as myself. The knowledge that I am not alone in my unorthodox beliefs is extraordinarily comforting. For the time being, my goal will be to post at least once a week. But, if I disappear for awhile, don't assume I'm gone for good. I enjoy writing this blog way too much to give it up permanently.

What Does it Mean to Love Our Enemies?

Several weeks ago, Richard Beck of Experimental Theology made a post that I have not been able to stop thinking about. He talked about the disconnect between the love Christians preach to the love Christians practice. The reason I appreciated this post so much is it put into precise words a phenomena which I had difficulty describing, but whose existence helped drive me away from Christianity.

I grew up going to conservative Southern Baptist churches and love was frequently the topic of sermons. This included God's love for humans, our love for God, and our love for each other. It was the last one which bothered me. Countless times I was reminded that Jesus said "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:43-44).

No matter what happened, we were to love our enemies. No matter how we felt, we were to love our enemies. No matter how they insulted us, stole from us, or physically harmed us, we were to love our enemies.

In words, it sounded great. It still does. But I did not see it practiced. At least, I did not see it practiced in any substantial form. What I repeatedly saw felt more like judgment. Anyone whose views or lifestyle did not conform to the church's was demonized. Unfortunatly, I experienced much of this personally, from my step-father. Liberal politicians on the nightly news were accused of murder and sexually deviancy. Homosexuals and feminists were blamed for destroying families. Even strangers were targets. If someone cut him off on the road, the string of insults that would follow could be rather nasty. Yet, when I would ask why he hated these people, I would always get them same reply: "I don't hate them. I'm a Christian. I love them."

So what exactly was this love? How could love allow for such seeming cruelty? In his post, Beck wrote that:

"As best I can tell, [loves] means the following: To love someone is to wish that they go to heaven."

Personally, I felt it had even a narrower definition. To love someone is to wish they would convert to Christianity (and, of course, to claim conservative our views). To love someone means to proselytize them, to "save" their soul. It did not mean to truly listen to them. It did not mean to learn about their life and to have compassion for their unique sufferings. It did not mean to forgive them when they actually harmed you (since I do not believe mere disagreement on political or social issue can usually be classified as "harm").

Love became some strange ideal, something that existed only in theory, not a concrete action with practical value. 

As a universalist, I believe God's love for us is not only unconditional, but involved. It is not just an emotion He possesses for us, but an action He directs at each one of us individually. He supports us during periods of suffering. He teaches us lessons throughout our life to forge us into better people. He even forgives us when we screw up, and helps us return to the correct path. God's love is NOT passive, and ours should not be either.

For me, to genuinely love your enemy can be quite hard. Our first instinct is towards anger or revenge. But love demands it must be towards understanding and forgiveness. People injure others when they have been hurt themselves: they are suffering, so they force others to suffer. Love stops this viscous cycle. To love your enemy represents that you have a profound desire to help end their suffering NOW, not a hope they will be blissful in some distant afterlife. It means you must see past the exterior of anger, greed, jealously, and hate, to an interior person who is in deep pain, allowing you to forgive their transgressions.

How often have you accidentally hurt someone when you have been preoccupied with your own pain? I know I have. Maybe that guy who cut you off today just lost his job. Or the woman who is rude to you is preoccupied with how she is going to afford food for her children this week. Or the person who roughly bumps into you and walks away without apologizing just found out their child has a terminal disease. If we truly knew the reasons behind people's bad actions, I believe we would be sympathetic more often than judgmental or wrathful.

Unfortunately, we cannot see people the way that God can. In some ways, it might be easier for Him to love us than for us to love each other. He sees our pain and suffering, so He understands why we lash out at others. We do not have that luxury. When we love our enemies, forgive them, and offer them our help, it means we are giving them the benefit of the doubt. They might have hurt us, but that does not mean they are bad people. It means we sympathize with their hidden pain, because we too are human. It means we recognize that love is not just a dream for the future, but a healing force in the present.

My Bookshelf (Sorta)

Lately, I've seen many of the blogs I read posting pictures of their bookshelf. Unfortunately, this would be rather difficult for me to do. I love books, and have 4 large bookcases, so if I took a picture of every shelf, it would be almost 20 pictures. Instead, I picked out 15 of my favorite fiction books to share (I posted many of my favorite non-fiction books here)

• The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
• God's Debris (Scott Adams)
• God is Dead (Ron Currie Jr.)
• Notes from the Underground (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
• Book (Robert Grudin)
• Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
• The Cyberiad (Stanislaw Lem)
• Peace on Earth (Stanislaw Lem)
• Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
• A Dirty Job (Christopher Moore)
• 1984 (George Orwell)
• Death: A Life (George Pendle)
• Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (Tom Stoppard)
• Cat's Craddle (Kurt Vonnegut)
• The Sirens of Titan (Kurt Vonnegut)